Amy

After watching Prince Caspian on DVD, I can only conclude that Narnia would be an infinitely better place if they could figure out a way to make Aslan stay dead and then put Edmund and Susan in charge of the place.

'A ninth-century Jewish account of Jesus, the Toledoth Yeshu, hostile to Christian tradition, for example, tells us that Jesus sneaked into the Temple in Jerusalem where he learned the name of God, and it was this knowledge which enabled him to perform his various miracles. Then Judas Iscariot learned the divine name and entered into a kind of magical rivalry with Jesus, the two of them flying through the air engaged in combat.'
P.G Maxwell Stuart, Wizards: a History

Okay, I like that much better than the most commonly heard version of the myth. I bet they wore capes. And that one of them had a maniacal laugh, though I remain undecided as to which.

*stares at Life on Mars* So... basically, this is the day Carrot Ironfoundersson arrives in Ankh-Morpork, only with fewer dragons and more time travellers. Any second now, he's going to go and arrest the head of the Thieves' Guild. This will cause his boss to have some kind of breakdown, which will involve alcohol and sarcasm so nobody will even notice.

*snorts at The Girl Who Never Was* 'I was expecting someone else,' she says. Really, Charley. Because one potentially universe destroying paradox per lifetime wasn't enough? I know, I know: not entirely your fault. Somebody needs to get him anti-amnesia pills. It would save a lot of time and energy. But still. This entire relationship is like some kind of natural disaster, or maybe a particularly messy creation myth. And yet I can't stop myself listening to it, because sidekicks are adorable, even if they are endangering the structure of the universe.

*listens to Absolution* Oh, C'rizz, lad, it's a terrible pity you missed the first couple of seasons. If you'd been around for those, you'd already know that becoming a god is a really, really bad idea. Actually, if you'd managed to stick with the group for more than ten minutes in this episode, you'd probably have a fair idea about it, too. It's a theme. Poor fellow.

Also, Doctor? You're an idiot. But that's hardly news.

*stares at the curriculum support material provided by the Department of Education and Training for the teaching of history in high schools* 'The free born citizens (of Rome) were divided into two classes: the nobles, who were called patricians, and the plebeians or ordinary people, such as farmers, tradesmen and artisans.' So... let me get this straight. We are now sending children to school to teach them things that are wrong. Honestly, thousands of scarily snobbish plebeian noblemen just stood up in Asphodel and swore vengeance. And if they ever find their way past Cerberus, I will help them get it.

...One week back at university and I'm already ill. Ick.

...C'rizz, dear lad, there is a reason why we don't leave our paralysed friends alone with the homicidal maniac. Honestly, I don't know how these people manage to tie their shoelaces without strangling themselves. Oh, I love them, they're terribly endearing, but... if they showed up and announced they were going to save the world, I'm pretty sure I'd start cowering under my desk.

*grumbles at the Big Finish website* Look, I'm delighted that you're letting me download things now, so it all costs about half as much as it used to. But why on earth do you not have Terra Firma available to download? All right, the description says it has Daleks in it, so I'll probably hate it anyway, but I'm trying to keep some semblance of continuity here. Also, I don't want to end up paying a fortune for the cd.

*sighs* I really don't understand how I can be tired at midnight but wide awake at half past three. And, damn it, I'm entirely out of new books, can find nothing on television and apparently cannot write more than a paragraph of anything before forgetting what I intended the plot to be.

"Between you and me, Mordred, I'm getting a little tired of hearing about your mother."

*snickers* I'm quite certain that every one of Arthur's knights, barring the other Orkney boys, just yelled a resounding "hear, hear!"

I do not understand how a lecture, not a tutorial but a lecture and furthermore the only lecture time available for the course can possibly be full. I'm hoping the university will explain this to me. Damn it, I don't even want to take this course, I just have to.

Also, insomnia persists, so I amuse myself by watching the Seventh Doctor. All right, they're cute. And odd. It must be a bit like travelling through space and time with an oddly Machiavellian hobbit. Though, with cheerful anachronism, I cannot help but observe that, while it was very sweet that he made his sidekick a tape player with his own hands, it would probably have been simpler, and easier for her to carry while running for her life, if he'd just taken a quick trip to the twenty-first century and bought her an ipod. I'm sure he could have rigged it to broadcast just as easily. Also-- how on earth can he have got to the age of nine hundred and fifty three and not have learned that clowns are creepy? Any six year old human can tell you that.

Ah. So, after a brief side trip into Heart of Darkness, we're back to making fun of religion again. Good, good. But-- 'are any of you gods?' Tsk, Doctor, I think you at least count as a recovering deity. No point denying your problems.

So... while Zagreus was weird in a 'yes, but it's mythology; if you think it makes sense, you haven't been paying attention' sort of way, The Natural History of Fear was just garden variety weird. I'm assuming that the last people who visited that place were all English majors who wrote their Honours theses on Nineteen-Eighty-Four. And possibly saw that film about the aliens who rewrote people's memories every day for the fun of it. I can't remember what it was called or who was in it, but that I remember.

I'm not sure who thought it was a good idea to say 'this is C'rizz, we're keeping him' and then have him be a different person immediately after. I mean, he seems like a nice enough lad, and heaven knows being a bit upset about having to kill your girlfriend is practically an initiation rite with this lot, so I'm sure he'll fit right in, but character development is nice, really.

On the other hand, they did manage to cause a bloody revolution without even being around, which is fairly impressive. I mean, yes, they're pretty hapless at the best of times, but that has to be a new record.

*shakes her head* So that's how it works, is it? Lock him and his sidekick in a corridor together for a couple of months and eventually they achieve emotional stability? Well, desperate times...

Mind you, that's the second time they've managed to create a mutant child that wants to devour their lives. Will somebody please explain to them about birth control before infanticide actually becomes a habit?

If the whole memento mori thing ever gets back to his other sidekicks, he might wish himself dead. I suspect there's several lifetimes worth of angry glares in that. Watch what you say, sir. Particularly when you've got Echo on your heels.

But really. I love you, come live in my brain? Terrifying, the pair of you.

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. Otherwise known as Death Eater Community Theatre. There are about five actors in the whole of Britain, and I am much too easily amused. Lusting after other people's wives leads to no good end! You'd think he'd learn!

"It's hardly Mithraism at all!"
"So let him do it his own way. What are we, Christians?"

"Will you please stop believing in things, decurio? It's very messy!"

I'm probably the only person who thinks Doctor Who would benefit from fewer Daleks and more Romans making fun of religion. But then, I have a problem with Daleks. Their voices irritate the hell out of me, so I tend to tune out when they're speaking and miss half the plot. This is bad enough on tv and impossible in an audio drama. There was a whole story I listened to-- something, something Shakespeare, screech screech, something time corridors, screech screech. I have no idea what was going on. I mean, I assume world domination figured into it somewhere, as it usually does, but I don't know. So I'll go back to the Romans. Well. Romano-Britons. At least I know what they're going on about.

*grins* And Charley likes the sword. I knew I liked that girl. I don't see why she shouldn't carry it, either. I'm sure it would go nicely with her dress.

*listens to Neverland. Wails* Oh, no, no, no. Damn you. I hate cliffhangers. What happens next?

*listens to The Chimes of Midnight* The Doctor and Charley... really are adorable. Oh, well on their way to making the universe explode, from the sound of things, but adorable nevertheless. And nobody was American this time. Not hurting my head with dubious accents is always a good start. But Doctor, I get the impression that your 'if I ignore the problem, maybe it will go away' philosophy is not working at all. You're just worrying your sidekick. Stop that. She's sweet. These things are addictive. I should be asleep.